Thoughts on Meditation & Shielding

Meditation and prayer is the practice of making oneself larger than the physical self can encompass.

I recently set up an altar on top of a short piano we have. My original goal was to "sit with the Goddess" everyday. I should have been more realistic - with a baby any sort of "schedule" is a myth. But I have sat with the Goddess far more than I have in the past. Every few days (or sometimes once a week), but hey, it's improvement.

As I sat there today with the "ca-king ca-king ca-king" of the baby swing in the background, I thought about meditation. My favorite meditation is becoming a tree. Sounds weird, yes, but I feel so grounded and at peace afterward. I throw my roots out into the earth and replenish my own energy, drawing it into myself. Then I grow outward, above my head, imaging pushing branches and leaves into existence, imagining my leaves fluttering in the wind, being at peace. It's a renewal and also a reminder that I am so much more than my physical self can contain.

Today the Goddess wanted me to work on shielding. How many of you out there work on shielding as part of your practice? So often we run into unpleasant energies out in the world. If we have no shield, those energies are welcomed right in to mix with our own. (Hence why grumpiness is contagious). We've been having some unpleasant energy in our house and although that comes with the territory - families are hard work - I don't think I contribute positively when I let their energies affect me. This is why I think the Goddess wanted me to practice shielding. It is hard to do in the moment, if you aren't practiced. I practice just by pushing my shield outward, firming it, then exploring it with my hands. Where do I feel it strongest, what happens when I push against it - does it expand or weaken.

Shielding is something I was VERY good at when I worked in retail. You really have to be! But it's been awhile since my retail years and I definitely notice it is harder to throw up an impromptu shield. My favorite shield memory (and I may have shared this story before on this blog, no idea) was when I worked at East West bookstore in California. They were having an event that drew in an "interesting" crowd. I won't say anymore about the event or the crowd because I don't want to offend anyone by wild generalizations. Anyhoo... one of the people that came to the event saw me looking tired at the counter (I was working 2 or 3 jobs at the time). She asked me if I like dolphins. When I said sure, who doesn't, she backed up and started forming an "energy dolphin". My co-worker and I looked at each other and psychically said "Uh-oh" and we both threw up our shields. No energy dolphins for us. Sorry, but you don't just throw your energy at someone else without asking. That's like picking a booger for someone else, you just don't do it. Especially if that person is paid to be nice to you. LOL - thank goodness we were very practiced in "retail shields" or I'd still be walking around with "dolphin" energy.

This can't be a super long blog post - I have laundry to fold and a baby about to wake up. But tell me, what are your thoughts on shielding and meditation. Do you have any pointers for creating fast and strong shields?

Happy weekend to all of you! I hope your weather is as glorious as ours is this weekend!

Journey to Goddess (revisited)

I originally posted this back in March of 2011, so if you've been a follower of this blog for a while you may have already read a similar (although not identical) post. I had the opportunity to submit a piece of "creative works" for a contest at my Alma mater. I felt like this was really the best thing I had written in recent years and it fit their guidelines fairly well. Now it's a long shot that I'll win, especially since my college is a Catholic university - but to be fair, the women that run the department that the contest is through are amazing and open to diversity in religious/spiritual beliefs. If it is these women who judge the writing, maybe I have a chance. :) So, we shall see. Have a read (or a re-read) and let me know what you think.

Journey to Goddess.

This is not a story about finding and losing faith. This is a story about losing and finding faith in oneself. This is a true story, in the way that truth can be seen through colliding memories. This is not just my story. It is told the world over by every woman who is taught to ignore her own wisdom. The characters, the religions, the path taken may all be different, but the story of a woman rediscovering her own wisdom is the same. When a young girl is expected to fit herself into institutions not made with her in mind, she starts to disbelieve her own truths. She starts to think her truth can only be defined by others. The impact of this is subtle and far-reaching.

Perhaps in sharing my story – my truth – she can start to believe in hers.

Child Wisdom.

My journey to the goddess has been a long and interesting one. Really it has come full circle, twice. I once was a child who trusted her intuition, who knew the divine energy without being told, without specific names. And this child, she sang. She sang of birds and swing sets and sunlight and the joy of getting milk out of the fridge. And this child, she was wise. And then the world started to name things. This is Jesus. This is God. This is how a woman should act. This is the church. God is found in here and like this.

Catholicism.

This child that I was, she adopted these new names and worked within the confines of them. I still knew the divine but its form had changed. I was friends with Jesus. Once, sitting at the dining room table, I looked up at the picture of the last supper. I pointed to Jesus and said “That man was in my room today.” I was friends with Jesus and I sang new songs.

As I grew, my wisdom changed. Jesus didn’t appear to me, but I did continue to have conversations with him. Not always, usually only during my most vulnerable, stressed moments. I thought of it as Jesus speaking through my own mind, not really Jesus himself but me tapping into my own divinity and finding his wisdom there. I was proud of my faith, but found I was not always in agreement with the Church. I was still wise because I could separate faith with the actions of men (aka Church). And my faith, it felt good and right. But other parts of my life didn’t. Something always felt off. After high school, I fell into some very bad habits and temporarily lost my will to have faith. After spiraling downward for a year, I knew I needed change. In an attempt to salvage something I wasn’t sure was even there, I went to college.

College.

College is always a time of growth. I went to St. Kate’s for the sole reason that I walked on campus and it felt right. That little wise child I had been whispered, “We can sing here. This is right.” College was good. I took theology courses and found my faith in Jesus again. It felt strong and real because I was choosing it myself after really, truly investigating it. And yet something still felt off. But I was healing from my downward spiral and I felt myself growing wise again. Then it all changed.

Victoria.

Victoria got breast cancer. She was my rock. An older woman I leaned on for laughter and wisdom.  And in an instant, everything collapsed. There is a lot that could be said here. In fact that story has already been written and perhaps I will share it someday. But here is the turning point, the entrance of the Goddess. When I heard the news, I was a mess and ran from the building. I walked aimlessly, in a cloud. And just as it happened in my younger years, I heard Jesus. “This is a test of Vicki’s faith and yours. If you both believe in God’s power, all will be well.”

And I screamed “NO!”

And the Goddess came. In that very instant when my spirit realized how flat and incomplete that message was, the voice in my head became a female voice. A mother’s voice. “Look around you. See the world. Do you see? Do you see the colors mingling together? Do you see the life present in everything? It all works together. You cannot separate the rain from the sky, or the bark from the tree. There is a delicate balance… Should the world always be ruled by the sun, we would not know to miss the presence of the moon. Your struggle is the same. Would you know so deeply your love for Vicki, if this struggle had not beset her? You are not powerless. We are all connected and thus can affect all that we are connected to. There are no lines separating us. Look at the world. See yourself in everything around you. It is as much a part of you, as you are a part of it. Know that… and your power is found.”

Wicca.

I had found the Goddess. But years of Catholicism made me think I needed more structure. I felt like this new Goddess couldn’t be something I could understand on my own; I would need others to tell me who she was. In this search for outside knowledge, I bypassed my own wisdom, but luckily found Wicca. And more importantly Wiccan friends. Wicca closely aligned with what my own wisdom and intuition told me. But something was still off. I did rituals and spells, read books upon books, became a leader in a Pagan group on campus. It was a good time and Wicca helped bridge a gap that needed bridging, but something in me told me I wouldn’t stay forever.

Kali-ma.

My last semester in college, I had a roommate who turned out to be an energy vampire. What was supposed to be the best semester quickly turned into the worst. I spent so much time dealing with her passive aggressive communication that I was anxious and incapable of relaxing. My good friend invited me over for lentil soup and tea. Her house was sacred and being there, I opened up and told her about my roommate. She went to her room and came back with a wall hanging of Kali. “This is Kali-ma. She is death and destruction. She is mother to those without mothers and she protects her children fiercely.” I hung Kali on the wall by my bed that very day. As I laid in bed, trying to fall asleep and trying not to think about my roommate in the next room, Kali came to me. Her energy was thick and dark and heavy. She settled around me like a blanket. “Kali. Mother. Tell me what to do.” And she told me. She showed me things that had happened between my roommate and me. She asked why I let my roommate take so much of my energy. Why was I afraid to be fierce? Through her I learned that destruction is the very beginning of life. And being fierce is at the very core of the Goddess. Kali-ma taught me boundaries and self-protection. Knowing Kali-ma is like knowing the core of the earth. Scary, powerful, beautiful beyond measure and love so deep that it is dark and fierce. Since that day, when I refer to the Goddess as “Ma” I am not referring to the maiden, mother or crone but to the older, primordial Goddess that is all three and so much more.

East West.

After college, I moved to California and worked in a spiritual bookstore. I was surrounded by texts from every known religion and spiritual path. I learned so much in that bookstore, yet precious little of it came from books. It came from the people (specifically the other employees). They were so sure in what they knew and yet were never threatened by the differing beliefs of others. They trusted their intuition and encouraged me to trust in mine. And I did. I started knowing things before they happened. Like one day, my good friend called me and as soon as I heard her voice my intuition told me she was pregnant. And she was. Little things like that. During work I held stones and learned what the energy of an amethyst felt like compared to the energy of fluorite or jasper or quartz. I learned that books can be useful to a point but when your intuition speaks, listen. When a book says a stone can help with this or that, but your intuition says differently. Listen. I honed my intuition. To this day, I can hold stones and have an intuitive sense of their properties.

During my time at the bookstore, I moved away from Wicca. The structured rituals didn’t fit with my new intuitive self. There are principles and wisdom within Wicca that I still follow to this day. It wasn’t painful like my departure from Catholicism. It was simply a turn in the circle, moving back to where I had first started with a little more wisdom in my pocket. So what is my path now? Much like it was in childhood, it has no name. I practice intuitive magic. There are no circles cast or corners invoked. Although there are sometimes candles, incense, stones and earth, there is mostly me and my divine energy. I do what feels right and simple and encourage others to do the same.

Reconnection.

I have walked a long and changing path. I have become a wife, a step-mother and more recently, a mother. Trusting in my own wisdom, learning how to define my own truths has brought me more joy than I can hold in my arms. It has sculpted who I have become and it has articulated who I wish to evolve to be. There are dark moments, as there are in any life, but I trust that my wisdom will see me through them. I do not wish my wisdom or my truths unto others. I do not wish a woman to journey to goddess if that is not her path. I only wish she braves the journey to her own truth and finds happiness along the way.

Sitting with the Goddess

I sat with the Goddess today. And she isn't happy. Her many personalities were showing, and at times overlapping. The mother Goddess who has no name to me - she just is - she was kind and compassionate. Her younger self was as well. It was Kali who was angry. She made my inner world tremble. Mother Goddess reminded me that Kali is a mirror to myself. She is showing me something through her anger that I need to see. I know what she wants me to see. I know I should see it. But I can't lie to the Goddess and I just, I'm not there yet.

People who think following the Goddess is all dancing barefoot and drinking tea - they've got it wrong. It is not always easy. The path is not always clear. Actually, in my case, the path is clear. It is the traveling of it that I am unsure of.

But despite all this...

I made a space for the Goddess and she came. I sat with her. I felt her hands upon my shoulders and her kiss upon my brow. I felt her sharp anger too, but it was for a purpose.

And as I sit and type this, the presence of her hands linger. And I feel cleansed.

The Goddess is calling...

I recently came across a post regarding Pagan head covering over at the lovely Iconoclastic Domina. (Read Cora's post here.) It really got me thinking. The idea of covering is an intriguing one. So much so that I have been intrigued by it since college. It wasn't until Cora's post that I started thinking about it within the realm of my own practice. Hand in hand with head covering is the idea of modest dress. Both things have been on my mind heavily for a week now.

Before we can dive into my thinking on this interesting subject, I think I need to summarize where I am right now, spiritually with the Goddess. I gave birth to my first child January 8th this year. I really thought giving birth would bring me closer to the Goddess. After all, what is more primal, more divine than bringing life into the world? Throughout my pregnancy I looked forward to finally understanding this divine act, understanding "Mother Goddess". At times I was scared of my transition from maiden to mother, but overall I looked forward to that day in great anticipation. The reality simply did not live up to my expectations. Yes, I was fully prepared for it to hurt, for it to be incredibly hard work. But I really thought I would find a power source within myself that came from the Goddess and this new found power is what would see me through. In reality, after 59 hours of intense labor, it felt more like the Goddess dragged me across the universe on a chain while I ran when I could but mostly stumbled, fell and struggled to get back up as we continued to move along. It was still a journey with the Goddess, just not the one I was prepared for.

So in short, I've been feeling a little distant from the Goddess. And I don't want to be distant. I am starting my journey into motherhood and I want her near. But I need to wrap my head around things first and find ways to reconnect. This is where the idea of modest dress and head covering have their biggest appeal. Doing something intentionally, everyday, in honor of the Goddess sounds like a wonderful way to reconnect. And head covering would set me apart in a way I feel would constantly remind me of my devotion for the Goddess. There are tons of reasons Pagans choose to head cover, from protecting the crown chakra to representing a bond/marriage with a specific deity. For me, I feel the biggest draw lies in my intention to cover.

Here is the glitch. The idea of modest dress in general throws me through a loop. Am I being called to modesty by the Goddess? I don't think so. I think I have a bigger calling from the Goddess to reveal myself. (Perhaps not my head, but my body, yes). As you may have read in other posts, I have psoriasis. I have had psoriasis for 15 years - that's exactly half my life. Learning to come to terms with my skin has been a real struggle. Starting with high school kids being mean "Ew, what is that stuff?!? Why doesn't that girl take care of her skin? Gross!" to trying to date in college feeling like a kaleidoscope of redness and flakes. Many people with psoriasis hide themselves away. They are more prone to depression; they are more prone to wearing long sleeves and pants in the summer out of fear of what the public will say. And someone with psoriasis hears it all. From "Oh my gosh, what happened to your elbow!" to "Did you hurt yourself?" or "Do you know you are bleeding?" to "My uncle's dog groomer has that and you know what he uses?..." Add in stares, weird looks, people (nurses) grabbing your body to exam plaques like you are a science experiment and people trying to slyly point their fingers at me to show a friend (trust me folks, I see you). So who can blame the many folks with psoriasis who choose to cover up, to hide. I definitely don't blame them; I have been them.

But after years of trying to come to terms with my disease, I am finally at a point where I have the confidence to walk out the door without fear. I have the confidence to wear shorts and showcase my lovely unshaved psoriasis dotted legs. Or a tank top that goes down my back and shows off my "angel wings" psoriasis plaques. I feel the Goddess has led me to this confidence so that I may educate and empower. I have the patience to explain to those who make comments what psoriasis is. When I see someone staring at my skin, I stop, say hi and explain "This is psoriasis" (Most days at least. On bad days I keep walking). And I hope that in revealing myself to the public world, I give courage to at least one other person with psoriasis. I spread the message "It's ok to have psoriasis and it is ok to show yourselves." To those with psoriasis, I want to say don't hide yourselves away, don't let the feelings of isolation and lonesomeness drag you down into depression. Know that you are beautiful and normal just as you are; step into the sunlight and bask in that knowledge.

And if all this weren't enough, getting some sun is one of the best things you can do for your psoriasis. So covering up is counter-intuitive. I've been thinking about this a lot this week. And I do feel a call from the Goddess, but it is not to cover myself. With that being said, I still think there may be something special for me in head covering. I know part of the reason I feel disconnected from the Goddess is because I don't make it a point to include her in my thoughts everyday. I have a hard time remembering to pray or reflect on her daily or even weekly. I have it on my to do list (which is harder to work through with a new born) to create a space for the Goddess. To spruce up my altar so that I can sit at it once every day and reflect. I've had my altar in a number of spots in my house. Bookcases, shelves, bedside tables. After a few days, the altar tends to melt into the background and become forgotten. My thought is to create an altar on top of our piano (it's a shorter one). That way I have a seat built right into the space so it is as easy as possible to sit down, light a candle and just "be" with the Goddess. And I think covering my head while I do this might be the added intention I need to make this a lasting habit and to truly reconnect with the Goddess.

So that is my plan... buy a new Goddess candle (I used mine up during labor), set up an altar on top of my piano, find a nice scarf to cover with as I pause for a moment with the Goddess. Where I go from there with head covering, only time will tell.

Spiritual One-Word Wednesday

A twist on Wordless Wednesday.

What does it mean to you, personally & spiritually? Go...

And I am BACK! (again)

I have been going back and forth on what to do with this blog for DAYS. I love this blog and all my followers and didn't want to scrap it entirely. But I also felt like I wanted to branch out in a different direction that doesn't quite fit under the umbrella of "Dear Goddess: Bless Me". I want to blog about motherhood and cloth diapers and other mama-stuff that I am surrounded with these days. (People in my life are getting tired of being bombarded with my litany of cloth diaper benefits. I figured if I blogged about it to an audience that is interested in the same thing... then I won't overwhelm the few adults in real life that I accidentally corner when I start "talking mama shop.") In the same breath, I loved how in the past this blog helped me feel much more connected to the Goddess. I think that's where my hesitation to start over completely from scratch comes from.

So, I will keep this blog. And I will continue with my new blog. I have decided each has their own separate purpose. I did clean up this blog a little and removed any vent-y stuff, because you know what... it needed to be expressed at the time but it doesn't need to be remembered. I've moved on and so should those posts. So in a sense, both blogs are "fresh" and ready to go. Dear Goddess: Bless Me will continue to focus on things of spiritual importance to me. And my new blog will focus on all things kid and baby related.

Now, please help me get my new blog underway properly by clicking the BIG link below and checking it out. If you like what you see so far, please subscribe/follow.

The Mama Adventures of Kijjet

Hugs!
Kijjet
PS - Grab my new blog button if you feel so inclined. ---------------------------------------------------------->

Kijjet's Goodbye... for now

Hi my wonderful bloggy friends. I am sorry I have been so absent from bloggy-blog land. The brilliant Kijjet  decided to accidentally dump an entire cup of ice water on her computer. (Bye bye computer!) So I was without a computer for about a month. By the time I finally got a new one, well, I seemed to have lost the blogging bug.

So many new and wonderful things happening in my life these days, it's hard to find time to sit down and blog. I am truly living in the moment, enjoying every new element of pregnancy and counting the days until baby comes. I am now in my 30th week and 10 more weeks feels both so far away and so incredibly close.

Blogging and reading everyone's blogs (as wonderful as they are) took so much time, I wasn't able to find a good balance between life, work, preparing for baby and blogging. So, of course, blogging took the back burner. I don't know when (or if) I'll be back, but I will try to post some baby pictures come January-ish for those interested. It has been a blessing and a joy getting to know all of you and to share some of my life with you. I do hope the blogging bug bites me again someday. But for now, I am content to rub my belly and ponder the baby chilling out in the crock-pot of my uterus. ;) If any of you would like to stay in touch via Facebook, email me at kijjet at gmail.com and let me know your "real" name.

Hugs and blessings to all of you!!

29 weeks pregnant! (haven't taken the 30 wk photo yet)

ALL the things I can GROW!

So I have seen tons of "Garden Update" blog posts and well it's my turn. But you all know me. We are doing this "kijjet-style".  Oh yes, kijjet-style. That means hold on to your pants, we are going for a ride through crazy land.

I grow weeds and babies!

We will start our journey right out side the fence to the backyard. Here we find an amazing specimen that I like to call "Crazy tall weed I can't pull out even if I was superman". I believe this truly showcases my incredibly green thumb. I mean LOOK AT THAT THING! It is taller than me! Granted I am 5'1" but that is still an impressive feat. And yes, I also grow babies. Well, baby - singular (thank goddess!). I'm closer to 20 weeks now but yeah (I have really be slacking on getting this post together).

Before we venture inside the mystical, magical, growing-bonanza of the yard, let's take a look at our current surroundings. The drive way. I grow things so well that even CONCRETE can't slow me down. That's right, concrete. You don't need DIRT when you are as talented of a gardener as I am!

Next of course, is the outer perimeter of the yard. The sidewalk. The yard has so much growth that it spills under the fence and creates this beautiful collection of greenery for ALL the neighbors to enjoy. Don't you wish you lived by me? Seriously, look at these beauties. I could entry them in a county fair or something and I would win first price! Alright, if you are ready, let's go back to the gate and enter the... dum-da-dum... back yard. (Hang on to your hats, folks!)

My backyard is luscious and green and overflowing with growth. Try not to be jealous. It is a lot of work to get a yard this beautiful. We can't allow small children to play in the yard because they would fall so utterly in love with the tall grass, bugs and magical-forest-vibe of the whole place that they would never be happy with their own yards, ever again. (Also, we might lose them in the yard and never find them again). My yard is magical and it protects itself by hiding the vegetable garden from all but the most knowledgeable of eyes.

And here is the vegetable garden. Isn't it lovely? Granted it hasn't produced a single vegetable all summer, but that's not the point people. NOT THE POINT AT ALL! Even when you snap a photo of this magical garden, it camouflages itself. I'll give you a hint, turn your head to the right.

And here is a close up of the green beans. Aren't they lovely. It is entirely possible that this is producing green beans and they are just hidden from the average eye. I am sure the Fairies are enjoying some green bean casserole this summer!

Another hidden gem of my garden is this amazing rose bush that WILL NOT DIE. It is like the fountain of youth, but for roses. Sometimes I sit next to it and I can literally feel myself stop aging. But then I think about baby and realize it might not be good for baby to never age, so I move on my merry way through the garden of hopes and dreams and eternity.

Last I thought we should end our magical tour with these sunflowers. These are the most magical element in all the land, er garden. How did they get here? Why are there so many so close together? Who planted them? These things will always remain a mystery. Perhaps by fall they will grow so tall that we will be able to climb them and find a magical castle on a cloud where giants hang out. Who knows. That's why these are the most magical element of all.

So there you have it. Kijjet's garden. I don't like to toot my own horn, but well, as you can see I really am an EXCELLENT gardener. If you ever need any pointers on how to "let stuff grow" just let me know. I am always here to help.

Now get out of my yard! You creeper!

hehehehehehehehehehehehehe

A Dear Thank You to a Friend

The out pouring of love and positive energy for this pregnancy from everyone in bloggy-blog land has been astounding. There were a few people in bloggy-blog land that I shared the news with a little sooner. And their support and love through the first trimester was a blessing. I called upon the talent of Kim at Fairy Bell Cottage because I really felt the need to have some pregnancy inspired “Kim jewelry”. And I was not disappointed! Kim made the most amazing necklace for me. It was so wonderfully crafted and charged with loving, protective energy it blew me away. I love wearing this little tribute to the Goddess. If you haven’t ever seen Kim’s work, PLEASE go check out her Etsy shop, Goddess Amour. She is just amazing and this necklace is just one showcase of her talent.

In addition to being an amazing artist, who pays attention to the details (both physical and metaphysical), she is also an amazing person who listens, cares and approaches everything with positive energy. So I just wanted to send a big huge thank you to Kim and of course, share her beautiful creation with all of you! (My pictures don't do it justice, but I tried. And remember, click to enlarge.)

Now, a little bit about this special necklace...

There is a beautiful pewter Goddess charm followed by a moss agate leaf bead. The beads on the chain are white moonstone, rose quartz, unakite and garnet. Kim was kind enough to type up some of the properties of these stones and I’ve retyped them to share with you.

Originally from Kim:
Moonstone is strongly connected to the moon and is filled with receptive, passive, feminine energy. It is the stone of intuition, inspiration and Goddess energy. It is also a stone of ‘new beginnings’ as well as a stone of ‘balance and harmony.’ Its most powerful affect is that of calming the emotions, and wearing it can increase your sensitivity to psychic impressions.

Moonstone is believed to be one of the best supportive crystals for women. It is thought to enhancer fertility, regulate your cycle and balance emotions, and its also a wonderful stone to carry around during pregnancy. It also balances the hormonal system, and is excellent for PMS, conception, pregnancy, childbirth and breast-feeding.

Rose Quartz , like other quartz crystals, amplifies and stores energy. Boosts self-esteem and encourages self-love, for emotional healing, to foster affection and to transform negative energy into positive, supportive energy. It is one of the most important stones for the heart and heart chakra.

Rose Quartz is considered to be the stone of fertility. It is said to promote fertility, guard against miscarriage, and encourages peace and calm. Rose Quartz fills the body with loving energy and protects the mother and unborn fetus from harm.

Unakite is a stone of vision. It balances emotions with spirituality and also provides grounding when needed. Unakite brings calm and gentle energy. With its green and pink swirls, it is considered to be the childbearing stone and is said to facilitate an easier labor, increase self-esteem and pave the way for a joyous birth.

Garnet energizes and revitalizes, balancing energy and bringing serenity. It also stimulates passion and increases sexual potency. Garnet has long been a symbol of love and devotion. It is attuned to heart energy.

Moss Agate is a stabilizing stone strongly connected with nature. Moss Agate is associated with nature spirits, bringing earth energy into its healing. It is said to refresh the soul and enable you to see the beauty in all you behold. Moss Agate helps to release old habits and promote forgiveness. It also comforts and soothes emotional wounds. Use Moss Agate to balance the Heart Chakra when releasing stress.

Moss Agate is considered a “birthing” crystal that can assist midwives in their work, lessening pain and assuring a good delivery. It is also a wonderful childbearing stone and is said to promote fertility, assist in new beginnings and in growing everything green! It is also very grounding.

Again, thank you SO MUCH Kim! I heart this necklace beyond belief!

Blessings to you all!
kijjet

Baby, I’m baaaack!

HELLO BLOGGY-BLOG LAND!! How have you been? Hugs to all of you! What a joyous and crazy whirlwind of a summer this is turning out to be. My month of resting did me some good, for sure. The kids are gone, enjoying their summer with their mom and the house is quiet. Q.U.I.E.T. It is lovely and I am soaking it all in because I know it’ll never be this quiet again. At least, not for a long but exciting 18 years.

“Why 18 years, Kijjet? That’s a very specific number.”

Ah, well I am glad you asked. That would be because I am pregnant and don’t plan on kicking this baby out until it is at least 18! Yes, that’s right. You heard me. PREGNANT! (EEK!) This will be my first baby, since Mi and Ni are my wonderful step-kids. So I’ve never done the baby thing before! Let alone the pregnant thing. This has been a truly Goddess blessed pregnancy. I found out on May day, which you all know is my FAV.OR.ITE holiday. And it really has just been a joy-filled pregnancy. I seem to have inherited my mother’s good genes and had a very easy first trimester. No morning sickness or any such things. But, as is apparent by my absence from bloggy-blog land, the first trimester zapped all my energy. Tired does not even begin to cover it.

Peace and quiet have returned along with a massively large to-do list to try and accomplish this summer. It feels like it will never get done. I want to organize so much so we have room for all the new baby stuff we are accumulating (Garage sales are my friend). Yet it seems to be taking so long just to get one project done. I can’t believe it is already the middle of July!

This is what a Goddess Blessed pregnancy feels like.

So, let’s see… I am currently 15 weeks pregnant. I’m not showing yet, but I’ll think about posting pictures once I am. Originally we thought the due day would be December 25th. I had a MAJOR freak out moment at that. As someone born on a holiday (Valentine’s Day) I can attest to how much it SUCKS to share your birthday with everyone else in the world. And Christmas, being as big a holiday as it is, would be the worst one. But we then had an ultrasound and were able to determine the “guess” date is January 1st. Still a holiday, but a much better one to be born on in my opinion. Changes are baby will be born after January 1st, but only time will tell!

We have had so much fun with this pregnancy, finding creative ways to tell people. We told the kids by writing “Baby” in ketchup on a meatloaf. My dad we told by hiding a picture of the pregnancy test with a message that said “You’ll have to wait until January for a better picture” in a stack of photos of Mi and Ni as babies. We said “Want to see some cute pictures of your grandkids?”

We are really looking forward to the months to come and to meeting our baby this winter. I really truly feel the Goddess’ hand in all this. I did a protection and fertility spell towards the end of April, feeling it was just the right thing to do to mentally prepare me for getting pregnant someday in the future and to put protection around the baby and my husband and I. Turns out, I was already pregnant when I did the spell. I could have skipped the fertility part. LOL! But I see it as just one more way the Goddess has agreed with me and said “Yes, you are right. This is the time.” And knowing she stands behind me in this, takes so much worry away. I am able to just “trust” that everything will go wonderfully throughout the whole pregnancy. So many first time moms worry, not knowing what they’ve gotten themselves into, not sure if they are doing everything they can to give the baby what it needs. Me, I just listen to my intuition, I feel the presence of the Goddess and I know in that unspeakable core of my being that all is well, all will be well and all will be blessed.

And so with that I end this first blog post after my long and rejuvenating absence. Blessings to all of you, my dear friends!