If 2 + 2 = 4 and God is the first 2 and Goddess is the second 2, then Ma is 8. And 7 and 16 and 3 and 42 and 12 1/2. If this line ___________ contains within it all I or any other human has attempted to know, then Ma is not only this whole page but also this journal, this pillow I rest on, this home that surrounds me. I am not graceful, let me converge.
Tonight Rev. Dr. Charlene Proctor spoke of how to "Let your Goddess Grow" but the nameless Goddess she spoke of (don't misread me here - it is perfectly acceptable to be nameless) had limited growth. Why must I attribute any spiritually intellectual thought I have to a male divine energy? This question is set forth from the dichotomy she attempted to portray. If we wish to reconnect with the "Goddess within" should we really limit that growth to our earthly dimensions of "Goddess"... dimensions forever tainted by men and women hoping to diminish "her" capacities? The Goddess within me is neither male nor female, the definitions of which deriving from only a human perception of self. No, the Goddess within me takes on, as she chooses, forms that exist outside my own human perceptions of sex or gender. She is neither contained nor defined by such dichotomies. Again, do not misread my rantings. I do not think we should deny the power that can be found in nurturing or in multitasking but we should also not separate such ideas/concepts from their "supposed" counterparts, furthering the divide and separateness of these harmful dichotomies.
Can my Goddess not be fierce, intellectual and transcendent while simultaneously caring and earthly and complex? She is limitless. I was deeply disappointed by the "Goddess" laid forth for me this evening. Not only was she only white, she was also only mother, only middle, if not upper class, only business minded and only middle aged. She was restricted to this and I, being very few of those things, was not allowed entrance into her inherent possibilities. Where was her complexity which I so cherish? Where was me in the laughter and tears? This Goddess that was presented could not see me because I was beyond the edge of her eye sight. An eye sight created and defined by the roles she was "allowed" to encompass. And I was sad, not for me because I know my Goddess but for those who are only beginning and believe this Goddess that was presented capable of breaking down the barriers of sexist spiritual belief systems when in reality she only reinforces them.
[Originally written on 01/31/2006 after attending a "Let your Goddess Grow" workshop event.]
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